Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Fashion Victim

Lately the news has been warning us that "Skinny Jeans May be Dangerous to Your Health." According to this article, a condition called meralgia paresthetica, or "tingling thigh syndrome" can occur "when constant pressure...cuts off the lateral femoral cutaneous nerve, causing a numb, tingling or burning sensation along the thigh."

The article quotes a woman who noticed the odd sensation "when she wore a pair of super-tight skinny jeans to dinner with friends." And when she walked around, "She felt like she was almost 'floating,' because she couldn't feel her legs."

So... that's weird and all, but I think this woman's bigger problem, unless she's a runway model, is that she probably looked ridiculous. Isn't the real danger of these so-called skinny jeans that they actually make everyone look fat and awful?? Bring on the meralgia! Anything that will make this trend go away!

And according to the article, "tingling thigh syndrome" is exacerbated by high heels, the very accessory that can help these heinously unflattering jeans look halfway decent on a lucky few. (A chiropractic physician quoted in the article says, "The teetering shoes tilt the pelvis forward, increasing the pressure on the nerve.")

So what's the fashion-chasing, burger-eating Midwesterner to do? Step into a pair of dreaded ballet flats after pouring herself into her trendy jeans?

Please, can we stop the madness? Not to avoid the health risks, but to avoid the humiliation! Let's just stick with what we know best: relaxed fits, sweats, grease stains.


Stephanie Faris said...

LOL...well, any excuse to be comfortable, right? I remember a couple of years ago going out with some friends for New Years Eve. I knew we'd be on our feet for 6 hours straight so I set about finding the perfect pair of shoes. I found these ballet flats, complete with ribbons that tied up the legs. They went perfectly with my long, flowy dress. My friends laughed at me and said, "You can't go out on New Years Eve without wearing heels." Sure enough, within an hour of being there, they were both complaining their feet were killing them but not me!

Amy said...

Nice! I was once told I couldn't wear jeans on NYE - well, actually, someone at a pre-party told a group of us on the couch she was "obviously" changing out of her jeans before the bar, to which I sheepishly looked down at my choice of pants... Bet if they were "skinny" they would have been acceptable. Sigh.

Zip said...

Here here! Stop the madness. You also forget to mention the trend of BOYS wearing skinny jeans, which is even more ridiculous. To quote Jay Z "I can't wear skinny jean cause my N***s don't fit. See boys, it's cooler to NOT where skinny jeans.

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