Thursday, November 8, 2012

More fun with office email: WFH edition

One of the (lowly) perks of my job is the option to work from home, and a good chunk of my colleagues work from home offices every day. Yet my co-workers in the Chicago office feel the need to justify why they're working from home every freaking time they take advantage of this benefit, which is usually multiple times a week, from multiple people. Because totally harmless, random things tend to irrationally infuriate me, I CANNOT STAND these possibly BS, totally unnecessary excuses. I'm no one's boss, or mother, and I don't care.

On principle I have refused to provide reasons when I notify them that I'm working from home. My personal business is no business of theirs; plus I prefer oversharing via social media or too many cocktails to Outlook email. But in an attempt to prolong the slow death by boredom I'm experiencing in Corporate America, I've decided to spice up my "WFH" messages. Here are a few I'm considering putting in rotation:
  • I'm working from home today because the dog ate my homework.
  • I'm working from home today because I have uncontrollable shits.
  • I'm working from home today because the thought of making small talk in the office kitchen makes me want to stab myself in the eye. 
  • I'm working from home today because I have a job interview. Wish me luck!
  • I'm working in pajamas today, and I assume you'd prefer I do that from home.
  • It's cold out, so I'm working from home.
  • I had an emergency session with my therapist this morning, so I'm working from home for the rest of the day.
  • I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon, so I'm working from home. Case of the Mondays :(
  • I'm going to see my lady doctor this afternoon, so I'm working from home. Yearly pap smear :)
  • I have a gyno appointment tomorrow morning, so I'm going to work the rest of the day from home. Suspicious discharge :-/
  • There's something seriously wrong with my vagina. I'll be working from home until further notice.
  • I'm working from home today because there's a 12pm yoga class I want to go to. (Actually true on most Fridays)
  • If you're reading this, then you already know. I'm working from home... BECAUSE I CAN. (Always true)
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