Thursday, October 9, 2008

What came first—the nut or the flake?

In partaking in and observing many relationships (not all… wouldn’t want to make any rash generalizations…), I have to wonder: Did the crazy girlfriend beget the unreliable boyfriend, or was it the other way around? It’s a difficult process to deconstruct, as each party tends to hide unattractive tendencies in the early courtship stages.

Consider early dates, for example. As they’re (still) usually initiated by the male, it’s up to him to make a decision, plan a date and actually follow through—this may actually involve such amazing feats as looking up movie times, making reservations and arriving on time. And these early dates are often punctuated with spontaneous lunches, pop-ins or meet-ups, which are whole-heartedly welcomed by the female—as a result of her initial excitement and interest outweighing her need for schedules and structure, as well as her desire to be seen as a “cool chick.”

After a certain amount of time, however, this blissful charade begins to unravel. But whose fault is it? Did he decide to watch hours upon hours upon days of football with his “buddies” and forget to call because she started a wine-induced fight over nothing the night before? Or did she start the wine-induced fight over nothing because he had blown off a dinner date the weekend before to extend a hometown visit? And why did he extend his trip? To escape his crazy girlfriend? Or was it his disregard for plans and lack of consideration that drove his girlfriend off the edge?

It’s a snowball of a situation that can only be treated with open and honest communication … text messages unfortunately tend to exacerbate the symptoms. And a cure? I don’t think they’ve found one yet. But as for the cause, perhaps “what came first” is a trick question. I think maybe the Goddess begot the nut and the flake at the same time for the same purpose—the fraternal twins were supposed to grow up and foster understanding, acceptance and respect for same-sex relationships. Leave it up to the hopeless heterosexuals to make the worst of good intentions.

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