Thursday, April 3, 2008

Walking in circles

I’m not sure why, but there are an extraordinary number of revolving doors in the Loop. Getting to work in the morning, I go through no fewer than five revolving doors. If I go to Starbucks for coffee and Subway for lunch (yes, I’m aware of the amount of money I waste on things I should make at home), I revolve through 14 doors in one day. Despite all of this practice, however, I still find the revolving door rather tricky. Now, it’s quite possible I’m alone in being challenged in this area, but in case anyone else gets the same double dutch-evoking nerves before jumping into a spinning section, I’d like to share some of the lessons I’ve learned walking in circles.

Lesson number one: When choosing between an empty revolving door and one already spinning a few people, choose the populated door. Because it’s already spinning, you won’t have to exert as much energy pushing through. This was counterintuitive for me because I like to stay as far away from strangers as possible—but I’ve decided it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make, especially in the morning when I’m carrying coffee and feeling especially lazy.

Lesson number two: Stay alert when timing your door entry. It’s ideal to squeeze into the door immediately after someone else—so you can catch a free ride on his or her push. You have to be careful not to jump in too early though, as this could not only slow everyone down, but also cause extreme discomfort. One day after work I was jolted back from lala land when I realized I had followed an unsuspecting woman right into her personal revolving door compartment. I sheepishly apologized while we shuffled forward for what seemed like an eternity. Horrifying.

Lesson number three: Reverse the laws of chivalry. Although men customarily open doors for women, when dealing with a revolving door, I think it’s more polite for the man to go first. This goes back to my laziness theme. If the man goes first, he can do all the pushing. Now, as a 21st century gal, I’m totally down with pushing my own door…or strategically timing my own door entry…but I often encounter men who seem to be trying to be gentlemanly by letting me go first, and I find that odd because then I’m doing all the work for them. Maybe I’m getting it all wrong though—I shared this theory with a lunch date once…and I never heard from him again…

4 comments:

Pam said...

I disagree with the idea of going last to let others push. My fear is they will want to go too fast for me & I'll crumble to the floor or lose an arm or something.
I'm also afraid of escalators.

Amy said...

OMG I totally have a phobia of getting sucked through an escalator by my shoelace, although I don't encounter escalators very often anymore... or shoelaces, come to think of it... Just realized the front door of my new building is of the revolving variety :(

Zipporah said...

When i moved to this cold tundra, someone told me that revolving doors are everywhere to keep the cold air out. Then why, pray tell, are there revolving doors coming out of the el? The one at armitage is nearly impossible to push. I mean I lift weights and every day I have to put some muscle into turning that thing. But why is it even there??

Amy said...

The revolving door to my office building is ridiculously hard to push as well. I make a big production out of the effort I put into getting through in the mornings, but no one has noticed and addressed the problem yet...

I've heard that theory about the cold air too, or the wind. But doesn't Windy City refer to the politicians, not the weather? Or did I make that up? I think they're just there to make us miserable.

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