Happy birthday, I guess.

Yesterday was my birthday ... and while I admittedly enjoy pretty much any kind of attention, I couldn't help but be a bit disheartened by the number of flat "happy birthdays" I received via electronic communications.

I understand how annoying the obligatory "happy birthday" can be, and Facebook's new prompts only make you feel more guilty for not writing on the walls of every one of your 400 "friends" when you're alerted of the anniversary of their birth.

But you do have a choice: ignore the birthday alert or commit to the post by writing on the birthday girl's wall with some enthusiasm, for chrissakes. At least muster up an exclamation point or two after "happy birthday," or personalize it a bit with "happy birthday, Amy!" It's only three extra letters, people. The "happy birthdays" with no punctuation, or worse, a period, sort of put a damper on my special day. And even though I normally enjoy acronyms, "HBD" is just lazy.

A few hours into the work day, a colleague who must create Outlook alerts for everyone's birthdays sent an email out letting everyone know it was my birthday, and I started noticing the same grumpy grammar in responses from the rest of my team. I was equally annoyed by the obligatory thank yous I had to write back, but at least I faked it with smiley face emoticons :)

Then again, I also received a rather creepy e-card from a co-worker I've never met in person that featured a picture of me he somehow copied and pasted from Facebook in the middle of several birthday graphics and messages ... apparently it is possible to say "happy birthday" with too much enthusiasm. (His friend request is still pending.)

"Girls rock" is SO last season

First Forever 21 and J.C. Penney came out with shirts for girls that said "Allergic to Algebra" and "I'm too pretty to do homework so my brother has to do it for me" (sexist, terribly written AND hideous!).



And now Gymboree is selling "Smart like Dad" and "Pretty like Mommy" onesies. Apparently a "Smart like Mommy" variation doesn't exist.


What's next? Maternity tops that proclaim across the belly, "Here's hoping she's dumb and beautiful!"? Adorable!


JC Penney and Forever 21 pulled their shirts when customers voiced their outrage. Sign this petition to tell Gymboree they're perpetuating damaging gender stereotypes.


Photo credits:
http://act.credoaction.com/campaign/sexist_shirts/?r=231259&id=27202-2415163-OdD0YBx
http://sparkamovement.tumblr.com/post/12568193592/whenrobotsreproduce-a-friend-of-mine-posted-a

Kim's fairy tale divorce

It's shocking to me that people are shocked that Kim Kardashian filed for divorce after 72 days of marriage. Aside from the obvious red flags of her lightning-speed engagement and neanderthal husband's awful personality, two words sealed the divorce deal: "fairy tale." (I - and Merriam-Webster - think it's two words, E!)

Kim's wedding special on E! was called Kim's Fairytale Wedding. Kim wrote on her blog today, "It just didn't turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for." Why does everyone on reality TV think they're signing up for a reality fairy tale, when in fact they're signing up for pretty much the opposite - public humiliation and disastrous relationships?

Let this be a lesson to prospective Bachelor contestants - I'm not sure I can sit through another season of bachelorette after desperate bachelorette's juvenile monologues about happily ever after and Prince Charming. Remember Santa? How he wasn't real? Fairy tales are kinda like that, except it turns out your mom can't even keep up the charade - not even if she's Kris Jenner.

Photo credit: http://getglue.com/stickers/e/kims_fairytale_wedding_a_kardashian_event_part_2

Feminist edit

A screenshot from today's nytimesonline.com article, "I.B.M. Names Virginia Rometty as New Chief Executive":


I guess old habits do die hard.

Take your teddy to work?

Yesterday in honor of Columbus Day, Gawker.com posted "The 10 Stupidest American Holidays." I agreed with most of them until I learned that today is Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day.

Yup, I had to Google it to believe it too... apparently it's a fun way to de-stress. My friend told me her office is celebrating it, but I haven't seen any stuffed bears around here. Probably because 'ole Teddy reminds us of childhood dreams circling the drain... We much prefer crying quietly into vodka bottles under our cubes.


Photo credit: http://www.dearteddybear.com/index.php/teddybear/Bears_for_Him

Playboy clubs history

In an August Hollywood Reporter article about NBC's new show The Playboy Club, Gloria Steinem, who worked undercover at the club to report on working conditions, predicted the show would not "depict the scene realistically." And if last night's episode was an allusion to Steinem's Bunny stint, the show has indeed taken rewriting history to a new level.

The episode introduces us to Bunny Doris, who we first see auditioning for a job at the club. Even though Club Manager Billy thinks she's "full of herself," Bunny Mother Carol-Lynne sticks her neck out and hires the enthusiastic applicant. Then we see Doris shakily begin her Bunny career, barely able to walk in her high heels. Despite the never-ending slew of annoying questions Doris fires at her new colleagues, her fellow Bunnies happily welcome her and give her the inside scoop.

Unfortunately, Doris turns out to be an undercover reporter for the Daily News. The friendly little Bunnies have been duped. But instead of reporting on sexual harassment, low wages and mandatory STD testing, like Steinem did (guess the rule against "dating" keyholders doesn't prohibit other activities...), Doris writes a sensationalized story, entitled "Bloody Bunny," about a Bunny who killed a man. In the one twist I actually didn't expect, that Bunny ends up being Janie (not Maureen, who we saw kill a man in the pilot), but of course Don Draper wannabe Nick Dalton saves the day, somewhat inexplicably.

Part two of the "Bloody Bunny" story is buried, and Doris is shamed by Carol-Lynne after she tries to explain herself:

Mother Bunny Carol-Lynne: These girls come from all walks of life, and they're just trying to go somewhere better ... we give these girls a chance. I don't understand why you would want to destroy that.

Bad Bunny Doris: I came here to find a big story, and I thought this was the kind of place where terrible, illicit things happened.

MBC: And instead you found a group of hard-working girls just trying to make a life for themselves. Why don't you write about that?

BBD: Because that kind of story doesn't sell papers.

MBC: Maybe not, but at least it's the truth.

So ... is that what Steinem should have written about? How Playboy empowered hard-working girls? Sadly, as much as the male producers of The Playboy Club are trying to convince viewers that Bunnies were the only women who could be anything they wanted, that they were changing the world, it's simply not the truth. I'm not even sure it's a television show ... seems more like a PR campaign.

Photo credit: www.nbc.com

Always a bridesmaid model...

I'm starting to wonder if bridesmaid models have the same cliched complex bridesmaids supposedly have ... "always a bridesmaid [model], never a bride [model]." (I for one have always enjoyed being a bridesmaid.)

Obsessively scouring the Internet for the perfect bridesmaid dresses for my beach wedding, I think I've come across every characterization of the bitter bridesmaid:

The scornful bridesmaid


The exhausted bridesmaid

The bridesmaids who hate each other


The bridesmaid who hates you

Sadly the pictures I took on a shopping excursion with two of my bridesmaids looked a lot like the above ... but I expect them to look more like this on MY SPECIAL DAY:

All smiles and swallowed resentment - even though I'm making them travel to Mexico...


Photo credits:
http://www.lizfields.com/Product/Bridesmaid-Dresses/Short-Empire-Style-230/
http://www.billlevkoff.com/style/bridesmaid-dress/569
http://www.landadesigns.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=4&sort=20a&page=7
http://www.billlevkoff.com/style/bridesmaid-dress/572 http://www.lizfields.com/Product/Bridesmaid-Dresses/Short-Sweetheart-Style-223/