Last PC comic standing

Just when I thought there were not enough hours in the day to squeeze another reality show into my life, I found Last Comic Standing, which I've never really gotten into, although it's apparently in its seventh season. I'm not going to complain here about the comedians, because I do think most of them (in the semi-finals) are funny. And really, I pretty much laugh at anything. But the main reason I watch reality shows is to be annoyed - so I'm going to complain about the judges.

This week a comic got criticized for an inappropriate joke about the homeless, but then another comic who made a joke about abused women was applauded for his "original" and "dark" set. I understand the importance of being politically correct, and I understand the humor in being politically incorrect - what bothers me is inconsistency. If one joke was actually funnier than the other I could be more understanding, but in my opinion they were both mediocre. Then again, maybe it's my fault for turning into a humorless feminist when a comic talks about his standup "bombing" at a women's shelter because "they wouldn't listen." (About 1:20 into clip below)

The other comic made fun of her "hip" office for including in an e-mail promoting a clothing drive that jeans shouldn't be torn or "outdated," picturing a homeless person turning up his nose at acid wash. If the homeless person had been a woman with a black eye, would that have made the joke more "cutting edge"?

Mental health break

I just discovered a "Wellness Room" in my office. Like a port-a-potty, it said "vacant" on the door, so I opened it up and poked my head inside. It's a small room with a comfy armchair and small table, on top of which is a box of tissues... The lactation/mother's room is next door, so I'm pretty sure the Wellness Room is supposed to be used for less biological issues. What I'm not sure of is if this is an amazing - or extremely depressing revelation...

Guard and protect my gag reflex

When Ali was named this season's Bachelorette, I thought she would be the most annoying part of the show. But boy, was I wrong. Last night Kasey took the show's vomit factor to a whole new level.

Did you know Kasey wants to "guard and protect" Ali's heart? I wasn't sure, until he said it about a HUNDRED TIMES last night. Oh, and he also wants someone, preferably Ali, to "guard and protect" his heart some day. Don't think he's sincere? Well, what if I told you he went and got a tattoo of a shielded heart on his wrist? Yes, that happened too... His heart is literally on his sleeve! And my regurgitated dinner is literally on my pajama pants.

This is the same guy who thinks he lives inside a musical, spontaneously bursting into a capella songs of his own creation, about which he comments after, "Yeah, that was pretty intense stuff." Ewwww... A boy in high school once played his guitar for me and then asked if I thought he was "too deep" for me. My television viewing choices aside, Kasey brings back unpleasant memories...

Anyway, this leads me to believe Kasey thinks his favorite line is pretty intense, incredibly deep stuff. And as a professional copyeditor, this makes me angry. Kasey, "guard" and "protect" are SYNONYMS. There is no need to use both words. Also, your silly catch phrase is not romantic. It's a cliche. And the more you say it the lamer it becomes.

Now, I'm all for keeping wackos on the show for entertainment value, but Kasey has crossed over to unbearable. I am curious to see Ali's reaction to his tattoo, which Frank (or a producer, or clever editing) prevented Kasey from revealing by butting in on their conversation. But once we all get to see her inevitable look of horror I strongly encourage Ali to cut Kasey quicker than a barber.

Class by the Countess

There is so much to learn from Countess-turned-Bravo housewife-turned-aspiring songstress LuAnn! First of all, it turns out money CAN'T buy you class. Now, I already knew that - anyone who watches her fair share of reality shows knows that it's not your bank account, but how often you call yourself classy and call other people unclassy that makes you, in fact, classy. But did you know there are other ways to exude classiness? According to the Countess' enlightening video, additional tactics include:

• Sing-talking R. Kelly style
• Man-candy
• Group naps
• Corsets
• Creepy Classy laughing
• Identity-disguising makeup