Best Retailer Forever

It's more than a month away from my birthday, but my good friends Express, Ann Taylor LOFT and DSW have already sent me gifts! Now, like any prudent birthday girl should, I'm going to rank them.

While LOFT and Express sent me $15 coupons, DSW's was only for $5... lame. However, upon further inspection, it appears I can't use my Express or LOFT coupons unless it's with their respective credit cards. Lamer. As they probably know, I only opened those cards to get the discount and try to never use them because I tend to forget they exist, and even if I know I haven't charged them in years they give me late-fee anxiety, but I'm too lazy to close them. But they also know I love birthday cards and can't resist coupons. Damn them for knowing me so well!

So to be fair, I decided to break this relative tie based on looks. Which means I'll have to give the award of best birthday present and therefore favorite friend to Express, whose gift came in a snazzy envelope (the others were post cards), and the slick note inside is silver, and I like shiny things. Also, it says "Rock Your Birthday In Style!". I'm so glad my bestie is the coolest retailer on the block.

Fun with office post-its never stops

Came back from vacation to find this gem in the coffee area:



I was getting so sick of "island time" and being told to relax - thanks, passive aggressive co-worker! It's great to be home.

Put the wow in pow wow!

I'm not going to complain about the ridiculousness of women's Halloween costumes; it seems to be something everyone has accepted as a fact of Fall. My boyfriend's friend summed it up quite nicely yesterday at the end of a group rant about sexy firefighters and slutty panda bears. "But I fall for it every year," he said. And there you have it.

No, this post is not a rant. I'd simply like to share some stellar copywriting a co-worker pointed out to me on www.spirithalloweeen.com, the most entertaining e-commerce site I've come across, um, ever. Offensive on many levels (and you thought Chief Wahoo was inappropriate), it's like a pun-laden train wreck you can't look away from. I mean, Pocahottie? Brilliant, just brilliant.




"The work is done and it's time to play cowboys and Indians, only this time the Indian picks the cowboys she wants. Put the wow in pow wow and practice some native American rituals in this sexy Pocahottie costume. Is that an ear of corn in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"



"Time to get off the reservation and break away from the tribe in this sexy Dream Catcher costume. He'll want to take you right back to the teepee but you'll want to party and more, and why not? Put the wow in pow wow and go native in this unique costume that shows off your natural beauty."

Did I mention I can't look away?



Okay, this just got depressing...

Facebook working on public-service redesign?

According to a recent Mashable post, Facebook is testing "yet another" redesign, part of which is a downgrade of the status update box, where users can enthusiastically misspell breaking personal news like what they're microwaving for dinner.

"The screenshots clearly depict a user homepage where the Facebook Publisher, the status update box that currently resides at the top of your home page, is surprisingly absent. It’s where you can share text, photos, videos, URLs and the like on Facebook. But in a rather strange move, it appears as if the Publisher has been minimized and pushed to the side of a page, as a less intrusive button."

Screenie (Courtesy of Mashable via the Next Web):


In addition to being minimized, Facebook Publisher also appears to be morphed into a simple "update status" button, rather than the call-to-action teaser on the current homepage:


I wonder if Facebook is making an effort to discourage the plethora of inane posts such as "Owww! My nose hurtssssssss!" (featured above... inside joke, i hope?).

If so, I think Yammer should follow suit and stop sending me automated e-mails like this one:

Ideas for posting?? Stop encouraging the madness, Yammer!!!

And as for Twitter, I hope it follows suit and .... disappears.

Eavesdropping

While waiting for the elevator after work last night, I overheard a conversation:

Employee 1: "Are you heading to that happy hour?"

Employee 2: [sheepish] "No..."

Employee 1: [mocking] "Oh I see - you're just leaving work early then?"

Employee 2: [sheepish and defensive] "Well, my roommate's having this dinner party thing for his girlfriend's birthday, and I kinda have to go..."

Employee 1: "A party on a Thursday!? That's kinda weird... Where's it at?"

I found this exchange obnoxious for a number of reasons:

1. It was FIVE FORTY FIVE. How is that considered an early time to leave work? Nerds.
2. Even if it was "early," a benefit of working at my company is FLEXIBLE schedules, yet people still insist on laying on guilt trips when you come in "late" or leave "early," or work from home, or take a freaking lunch break. Mofos.
3. It's called Thirsty Thursday for a reason... Weirdo.
4. Why wasn't I invited invited to this happy hour? I'm a lot of fun, dammit.