So I’m totally psycho obsessed with holidays—especially Christmas (!)—and I can’t deny it… I’ve been listening to my Christmas station on Pandora for a couple of weeks now. Normal people get annoyed with the infiltration of Christmas merchandise and music creeping earlier and earlier into the fall every year, but I love it. Every last second of it—up until TBS stops looping A Christmas Story (can’t get enough of Ralphie!).
But my premature holiday bliss was interrupted the other day when for some reason, after all these years, I realized how creepy the song “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is.
Lyrics | - Baby It’s Cold Outside lyrics
Some of the more disturbing lines:
Unfortunate Female: The neighbors might think – Creepy Dude: Baby, it's bad out there
UF: Say, what's in this drink (um, I think it’s called Rohypnol) – CD: No cabs to be had out there
UF: I wish I knew how – CD: Your eyes are like starlight now
UF: To break this spell – CD: I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
UF: I ought to say no, no, no, sir – CD: Mind if I move a little closer (ah yes, moving closer is exactly what you do when you hear “no.”)
UF: At least I'm gonna say that I tried (Oh jeez…) – CD: What's the sense in hurting my pride
UF: I really can't stay – CD: Baby don't hold out (Ick!)
And he keeps pushing…
UF: I simply must go – CD: Baby, it's cold outside
UF: The answer is no – CD: Ooh baby, it's cold outside
UF: My sister will be suspicious – CD: Man, your lips look so delicious
UF: My brother will be there at the door – CD: Waves upon a tropical shore
UF: My maiden aunt's mind is vicious – CD: Gosh your lips look delicious (Uh, I think she heard that one before...)
UF: Well maybe just a half a drink more – CD: Never such a blizzard before
Um… disturbing much? And according to Wikipedia, the woman’s part is called “The Mouse,” and the man’s part is called “The Wolf.” Double ick! Now, I realize the song was written in 1944, when norms regarding female sexuality (or rather, lack thereof) really lent themselves to miscommunication and/or date rape, but while I find most old-school holiday songs to be quite quaint and warm and fuzzy, I think this particular throwback should be retired.