Monday, August 18, 2008

“So, what’s going on between you two??”

If a tree falls in the forest, and there’s no one there to hear it, does it really make a sound? Well in my opinion, it should be up to the tree to decide. Isn’t the tree more aware of its own actions than any outsider? Do things not actually happen unless they’re recognized by others?

That certainly seems to be the case with relationships. Two people can’t simply enjoy each other’s company—after a while, the others start asking questions—and you’re forced to have The Talk. This usually happens after suffering through one too many awkward silences surrounding introductions to friends of friends, when some oblivious drunk jabs his finger at you and blurts out, “Is this your GIRLFRIEND?”

You’d think you could just introduce people by their names, but apparently you can only avoid the G and B labels for so long. The others must know your status! Ambiguity just won’t do! And if you dodge their questions for too long, refusing labels or playing too long in minor league labels, frustration will mount and pretty soon your relationship as you thought you knew it will cease to exist, either because you or your counterpart has caved, or because the others have given up and completely dismissed it.

Perhaps this is why weddings have turned into such a spectacle. They’re really not about the couple or love or commitment at all. They’re about public declaration. They’re about putting an end to answering nosy questions—so you have a big show of it and then you wear around a band of physical evidence so the others will no longer have to wonder. Of course then they will probably start asking you when you’re going to start procreating…

So if a relationship exists between two people, but their friends and family can’t label it, does it really count? Apparently not. And does a turn under the microscope keep you from grilling your loved ones the next time you’re on the other side? Not so much. We all need the entertainment.


Abby said...

Uh we need to have a talk? I feel like there's a long story behind this vent session. Call me. I'm home all week.

Amy said...

Hehe... I'm only angry in the abstract... happy blogs aren't as fun to write ;)

Dr. Bob said...

Over the last 10 years, I think others have assumed I've been regularly dating 20 people. Compared to the actual number of zero, that's quite a gap. At least one of those was a guy - can't just hang around with a male friend for too many years without "something going on". And another one was you. Yes, Jerry of CBI fame thought so because, apparently, you would actually talk to me and not him.

Platonic friends are just not understood in our society. Is there a society where they are?

Amy said...

HA-- that Jerry... he creeped me out... I was forced to talk to him when my car broke down once. Hey, maybe that was a date and I didn't realize it.

Don't know exactly why our society doesn't understand platonic friendship, but I like to blame everything on the Puritans-- all that fear of/pent up sexuality-- we're up against an f-ed up, nosy legacy.

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